Beauty In Suffering by Sr. Anne Carbon

Childhood is a very special time when the whole world is like a playground to be explored freely and with wonderment. My siblings and I had so much fun together that recalling them brings nothing but happiness to my heart and a deep gratitude to God for giving me that special time and space.

When I was a novice, my pastoral ministry took me to places that were labeled poor, depressed and marginalized. The reality that I saw shocked me beyond belief. I saw children malnourished, dirty, eating on top of garbage trucks, working very early in the morning until late at night selling candles, cigarettes or flowers. The children I saw had worn-out faces. As young as they were, they were already the breadwinners of their families. They seemed to have lost that time and space called childhood.

I have been in Peru as a religious missionary Sister for the past seven years. A few years ago, the Columban Sisters opened a mission in Vinchos, a place high in the mountains of Peru where the notorious terrorist group called ‘Sendero Luminoso’ (Shining Path) used to have their headquarters for many years. They are gone now, but they left behind many broken people. Many of those people are depressed, and a good number of them are children.

I was deeply touched by what I saw and started sharing my concerns with some of the men and women in the town. To my surprise, I found out that we had the same concerns. Some of us approached the Director of the only school in the town to help us do something for the children. With his help, we were able to track down around 20 children ranging in age from 7 to 12. They were either passive-aggressive, low in academic output, had difficulty in concentration or drop-outs from school.

Our first activity with the children was a drawing/painting contest. The results showed that they knew how to express themselves and that they knew what was going on around them. What struck me most was that a lot of them expressed the desire to die. A few of them even had details on how to do it! One painted a cemetery and when I asked him why, he said, ‘It is a peaceful place, nobody bothers me there.’ Another drew a coffin and said, ‘I want to die and be with my father.’ His father was killed during the political violence, and he was living with his mother and stepfather who was violent to him and his mother. Another painted a river and put himself floating in it. He said, ‘I want to get drowned and die.’ Although the results were alarming, the good thing was we were guided in our initial approach to reach out to the children.

Not wasting time, I went to Lima to look for a child psychiatrist. Luckily I found one who was willing to make that long journey to the mountains to see the children. Together we drew up a simple program starting with bi-monthly psychological attention given to the children. Sister Mary Nolan and I do the follow-up after the psychiatric evaluation of each one of them. These individual evaluations are kept in a file so that our follow-ups are done accurately. Right now some are receiving pharmacological treatment. There are also activities that facilitate how to express themselves like painting, drawing, working with plastiline, workshops on emotional therapy, social activities that will bring out their abilities, individual sessions with the children and home visitation. We found out that visiting the families is an effective tool as it helps us to get to know more about the family and the real situation they are in.

After a few months following this program, a tremendous change in the children was very noticeable. Thoughts of death and the desire to die have gradually disappeared. They are more relaxed now, and they are able to express their emotions of fear, anxiety and anger. Their grades in school have improved and violence in the family has lessened or has disappeared.
I feel I have created a special bond with these children. I also feel that I have bonded with the many people who are involved in this mental health program. I feel my life is connected to each one of them. Working in the area of mental health has been a very enriching experience for me. It has offered me a wider range of understanding what life is all about.

Earning back what they’ve lostAs I continue participating in the reality of the poor here in Peru, I am able to see beauty beyond their sufferings. I feel that working with the children has enabled me in some little way to let them experience the joys and laughter of that special time and space called childhood.

Currently living and working in Peru, Columban Sister Anne Carbon may be reached at musuq_05@hotmail.com